these early days

washington was wonderful. learning about different organisational cultures is always fun, as is being in towns that i've never seen before. i'd like to spend a lot of time in washington state. i'd like to spend a lot of time everywhere.

delillo's players finally kicks in about halfway through. he starts talking about terrorists and global capital and computers and it's all wonderful. currents of invisible life. waves and charges.

in a recognition that i do, in fact, live below the poverty line, i've spent the last several days downloading a lot of albums from soulseek.

• the millennium, begin (1968) - lovely soft/sunshine pop album. curt boettcher arranged a lot of the association's more ornate stuff. thi is kinda up-with-people, but i really love that. touchstones!
  
• the association, anthology (1960s) - more lovely sunshine pop, less ornate; the geeky indie version of the 5th dimension.
  
• everything but the girl, idlewild (1988) - solid and wonderful adult contemporary. my vinyl copy is worn out! the other, less skilled but more honest side of swing out sister. 'the night i heard caruso sing' is about the cold war, and the little things that help people get by! it's all detail.
  
• luscious jackson, fever in fever out (1997) - who knew! this is a really super album. i also really enjoy the 1999 semi-hit 'ladyfingers'. i listened to 'naked eye' all day on saturday. i understand why people mock this band, but, again, i've separated myself from the decade-old hype and it's a really nice album!
  
• jobriath, jobriath (1973) - the biggest gayest glam star that never really made it. bowie was ambiguous, but jobriath was just really gay. morrissey is a big fan! i can hardly handle it all. gospel and swagger!
  
• the pursuit of happiness, love junk (1988) - super cancon power pop. i've been playing guitar along with all of the basslines. i requested the replacements, 'bastards of young' when moe berg was DJing at the tap, on bloor st in toronto, and he played it. that is my moe berg story!
  
• sonic youth, rather ripped (2006) - somehow, i've never ever listened to sonic youth. justin was playing this at the peak on friday and i really enjoyed it. gorgeous guitar sounds; 'incinerate' has a wonderful pace.
  
• modest mouse, this is a long drive for someone with nothing to think about (1997) - not sure why i've never heard this before. i have been listening to lonesome crowded west a lot lately.
  
• bread, the very best of (1970s) - soft soft rock. i love everything.
  

i miss aspects of my old job a lot. i miss having authority and backing. telling people that i could take care of something, or arrange to have something raised at the appropriate point, or the ability to have a positive influence over my community. a lot of it is ego. when my term on the co-op board is up, i'll be out of a functional governance position for the first time in several years. i'll still have senate, and NDP committments. i imagine i'll just dive into those a little more. i do love high level decision making, though. it's a comfort zone for me at the university now. i have to remember that these are still early days. the question of the large v. small life is still weighing. early days. i don't know what could possibly be on my polisci final exam, because the course is really just about how things are. the current of invisible life - transnational flows of currency. little green numbers on boards. shipments tracked by satellite. a stock portfolio. my stock portfolio. i explained mao II today as being about the supplanting of novelists by terrorists in the world of ideas. white noise is about the fear of death, but also about academia. hitler, as a cipher for total unimpeachable meaning, is just a token, a lifestyle, a field of study. nothing means anything. or, everything means everything to everybody. cans of food in supermarkets! labels!

i listened to scott walker on repeat at the peak on friday. i'd be working, then stop and just stare at the stereo.