arriving dupont. dupont station.

+ going across eastern ontario by bus. leaving ottawa at 1pm, lousy sandwich in the bus station. into toronto at 7pm. then 'going round the loop' to dupont. dupont station. arriving dupont. dupont station.

on the bus i read, watched the scenery, listened to music. i had my ipod on random, and what it chose worked, due to the day, the weather, probably the fact that i hadn't listened to anything since the plane trip over on the previous tuesday. i've saved the list from me 'recently played' list, and now listen to it as a separate playlist. 'busride.' all alone on a bus, watching, reading.

• the mountain goats, cotton - sitting in the bus as it pulls out of the ottawa station.
  
• scott walker, jackie
  
• yo la tengo, night falls on hoboken - 17 minutes long, leaving ottawa, on the freeway and seeing buildings and strip malls and houses disappear and turning on to a country road in kanata.
  
• fleetwood mac, gold dust woman
  
• kristin hersh, gazebo tree
  
• joni mitchell, people's parties
  
• air, modular mix - the odd installation of highway equipment, here and there.
  
• stina nordenstam, mary bell
  
• kate bush, all the love
  
• roger nichols and the small circle of friends, the drifter
  
• the tragically hip, lionized - this was really great. all snow now, fields, trees and rocks. houses off the road. i have no map, and try to remember as many place names as i can, to trace the route in retrospect, later.
  
• yo la tengo, let's save tony orlando's house
  
• swing out sister, tainted
  
• brian eno, another green world
  
• christine collister, always there
  
• the magnetic fields, candy
  
• joni mitchell, last chance lost - i listened to this album in the backseat of the car on the way to mt baker, a cabin that friends of my parents kept. 1995, maybe 1996. my new discman. the sumas border crossing, and small country roads, dark, steeper and windier.
  
• broadcast, accidentals
  
• elliott smith, single file
  
• a girl called eddy, did you see the moon tonight
  
• rickie lee jones, traces of the western slopes
  
• sebastian tellier, ketchup vs genocide
  
• spanky and our gang, without rhyme or reason
  
• bruce cockburn, the trouble with normal
  
• bruce cockburn, bright sky - see, he wrote all his songs in ontario, apparently. bright land. snow everywhere.
  
• saint etienne, marble lions - there is still a power and a magic to having a favourite band. i keep a card in my wallet that says that i'm a member of the saint etienne fan club.
  
• stina nordenstam, and she closed her eyes
  
• the free design, don't turn away - i remember this, high hillsides and turning roads. all snow, all sun, no leaves left.
  
• greg keelor, redemption
  
• jane siberry, bound by the beauty - this is when we stopped for a smoke break. i bought a map. small shop, sandwiches. newspapers for the trip, probably really awful coffee. bananas, junk food. but a map, which i folded and refolded as we drove across the edges for the rest of the day.
  
• smashing pumpkins, stand inside your love
  
• mark eitzel, sun smog seahorse
  
• swing out sister, somewhere deep in the night
  
• the left banke, walk away renee - this song starts, "and when you see the sign that..." as if it had no beginning, you just drop in, partway through a sentence.
  
• scott walker, rosemary
  
• the motels, suddenly last summer
  
• damon and naomi, little red record co.
  
• laika, german shepherds
  
• richard and linda thompson, cavalry cross
  
• stereolab, the free design - i know where we are now.
  
• tony rice unit, moses sole
  
• bread, he's a good lad
  
• saint etienne, woodcabin
  
• the magnetic fields, jeremy
  
• modest mouse, sunspots in the house of the sun
  
• saint etienne, mr. donut - we're in peterborough now. the peterborough petes. we stop here, people shift, leave. more space - we spread out. i take two seats, amanda two seats in front. we talk, but not for long.
  
• the left banke, ivy ivy
  
• saint etienne, sushi rider - now we are on a highway, dark, it's all different. the world shrinks with the view. just a bus now.
  
• sandy denny, no end
  
• roger nichols and the small circle of friends, love so fine
  
• charlie haden and pat metheny, the moon song
  
• alzo and udine, something going
  
• a girl called eddy, somebody hurt you - it really is just the bus now.
  
• long fin killie, british summertime
  
• the blake babies, disappear
  
• ferron, snowin' in brooklyn
  
• low, overhead
  
• the lilac time, hats off, here comes the girl
  
• goldfrapp, ride a white horse
  
• slowdive, when the sun hits - in whitby, completely dark now. the GO train. this is where toronto really starts. this is the climax, the point in the play when you know how the end will ultimately. this is the end of act three. no surprises anymore.
  
• fairport convention, who knows where the time goes
  
• gene clark, lady of the north
  
• destroyer, beggars might ride
  
• joni mitchell, court and spark
  
• my bloody valentine, only shallow - we're deep in the beast by now, past ajax, pickering, entering scarborough. stopping at the scarborough RT line.
  
• todd rundgren, cold morning light - leaving scarborough town centre. this is where all the headquarters are.
  
• low, two-step
  
• radiohead, idioteque - now the don valley parkway.
  
• elliott smith, punch and judy - turning off, on to richmond st.
  
• saint etienne, like a motorway - dundas and bay.
  

+ i liked ottawa again. it's all context - twice now i've been in a situation where parliament hill has served as my psychological rock against which i measure the reason that i'm actually in ottawa. parliament hill makes sense, and is endlessly reassuring. oddly, it's how i know that coming from the right place. further, i know, when i go to ottawa, more than anywhere else in the world, that i come from western canada.

+ i've been thinking more and more about leading, leadership. not what we think of when we're asked to rate 'leaders' in a phone survey, but what happens everyday in every situation. what is it, anyway, day to day? i yell on the bus, asking people to move to the back. leadership on transit issues. decisive, determined action on the issues that matter. responsive, sympathetic. sure. "a community leader," they say, in a pamphlet for congress. "a tested leader on the issues that matter to you." see, that way you, the voter, gets to fill in the blank. if it matters to you, your leader leads on it. simple. "getting results."

failure

+ and i bought wine tonight in a tetra pak. it's lighter and more convenient, better for trips. in fact, it would probably fit in my bike's water bottle holder. this is the future.

+ for three months i don't write. april through july. who am i then?

+ you can recycle a tetra pak. they shred it, soak it in water, and then separate the plastic and the aluminum from the pulp. yesterday, i recycled a toothpaste tube. rather, i cleaned it to be sent for recycling.

+ i'm reading the mammoth book of future cops, and it's good. i'll probably write a paper about the commonwealth of independent states that i'll have to finish for the 20th. i'm going to read sharon butala's real life again, though, for the third time. at the same time, too.

+ and i'll be in ontario later this month. wonderful. it could be healthy.