an almost indescribable sense of terror and doom

i've written this over four days. at the moment, i am at once highly concerned about the effects of Benadryl (diphenhydramine) on my life and curious about taking significantly higher doses in a controlled environment. several of its side effects correspond to symptoms i have recognised in myself this summer: dry nose and throat, increased sensitivity to light, blurred vision, short term memory loss, and several central nervous system effects associated with delerium. most excitingly/terrifyingly, diphenhydramine is distinguished from common psychedelics due to a unique difficulty in differentiating hallucinations from reality. i.e. really fucked up.

clearly, the lesson is to stop taking diphenhydramine. at least, not on a daily basis. i hope that my seeming inability to retain information from my recent WWII course readings is due to my drug habits, as opposed to a sudden decline in my inherent capacity to synthesize information. the problem is that diphenhydramine stops my hayfever symptoms. the itchy eyes and runny nose are infinitely more obtrusive in my daily life than the side effects i currently experience. nothing else works.

diphenhydramine is an anticholinergic agent. i.e. it acts as an inhibitor to acetylcholine receptors. 'magic mushrooms' act as antagonists for the same receptors, making the effects of Benadryl diametrically opposite to the effects of mushrooms.

working as a copy editor has made me hyper-attuned to hyphen use in daily life, as well as the production features of major daily newspapers.

don delillo is apparently a leading figure in the 'hysterical realism' genre. its key is the 'extravagant treatment of everyday events'. sometimes, i love don delillo more than life itself.

all the rest was written earlier. i figure i might as well post it. this is a highly mediated form of constant autobiography.

my own fucking ten!

1. damon and naomi!
   
2. scott walker's the drift!
   
3. three new pairs of pants, four new shirts, and a sweater vest!
   
4. buying records!
   
5. swing out sister's kaleidoscope world!
   
6. joe jackson!
   
7. the music taste of a 40 year old man!
   
8. baseball!
   
9. gin and tonic!
   
10. maybe, possibly, hopefully settling into a new house in less than 30 days after roughly 240 days (8 mo.) of various states of moving.
    

american politics astound me. most interestingly, there is no defined leader of either party. is the repub. leader bush? hastert? frist? harder still, who is the dem leader? dean? pelosi? reid? democrats who could run for president: bayh, warner, clinton, edwards, feingold. gore and kerry too. 435 congress seats are up in november. i'd love to run for congress. nevada's 2nd. california's 43rd. illinois' 8th. georgia's 5th. some states have only one congressional district. vermont is an example. for 12(?) years, it has been represented by bernie sanders, an independent socialist. now, jim jeffords is retiring from his senate seat and sanders is running to replace him. the democrats will leave him uncontested, so he is sure to win.

see, everyone is expecting the democrats to do very well this november. they could take the senate. they need a net gain of 6 seats: pennsylvania, ohio, montana, missouri, rhode island, tennessee. imagine: 435 seats, open every 2 years. plus 33 senate seats. wild.

the last president to be elected from congress was john f. kennedy, in 1960. kerry came the closest; 100,000 votes difference in ohio would have swung the election.