control

almost everyone i know, and would consider even a somewhat close friend, i have met through my work in politics. it is a surprise to most of these people that perhaps my most cherished trait is my taste in music. yes, i play guitar and i have somewhere over 700 albums, a carefully constructed collection that is a surer reflection of me than my library ever will be.

i am listening to scott walker now. my collection will NEVER be complete! that is an exciting thought. constant self improvement. there is always more out there to find.

i got drunk tonight. we did a lot of laundry; almost all of our clothes are clean now. then we watched a movie. there was no need to drink heavily, but i drank a whole bottle, 750 ml of wine anyhow. i know my tolerance is higher than ever, because i feel as if i've only had 2/3 of a bottle. i am only 22. how long can i coast through my life on promise? a long, long time, if the last several years are any indication. so long as i can outperform my contemporaries, my future will be secure. the lesson to learn is that i should always surround myself with idiots! no, the lesson to learn is that i need merely work to defeat my latent self-destructive streak, andi will do alright.

what will i do next year? it is a peculiar concern of the elected representative to have a fixed end date to a job, which can be extended only by many weeks of campaigning which may or may not have anything to do with the job at hand. whether the job is renewed may or may not have anything at all to do with the job performed to date. the people best equipped to judge my performance have absolutely no influence over whether i will continue to do it. these are all reasons why i would like to move on with my life. a 50% plus voter turnout affords an elected representative with some certainty. there is a base of voters, and campaigns can be structured with some certainty as to who will be voting and what their interests are. a 5%-15% turnout, however, is fraught with peril, particularily amongst a demographic with incredibly high turnover and next to no collective political consciousness or partisan loyalty. as i learn the methods of machine campaigns, i am less inclined to place my sense of self-worth in the hands of a constituency whose vote-determining issues will forever be a mystery. then again, i'm incredibly curious to test my record and plans against anyone who is not intimately acquainted with the language.

in recent memory, i have not felt healthier than i after sunday morning bikerides across town.
i KNOW that i will feel better through the day if i get a long sleep and get up early. i handicap myself, for fear that if i am at peak perfomance, i won't be as good as i'd like to think i could be. with a self-imposed handicap, i can always blame myself for being slow off the mark.

no matter, i picked up three new albums today
-charlie haden and quartet west, haunted heart (1992)
-richard hawley, coles corner (2005)
-richard and linda thompson, pour down like silver (1975)
each have made me tremendously happy. this scott walker album(#4, for those keeping score) is good too, but i was unable to find a copy when downtown today.

i'll get a lot of reading done tomorrow, i hope.